I think that the strangest statement to do the rounds in recent years has to be “Real Women Have Curves!” Does this render the sleeker members of our gender as imaginary or fake?
Let us dig deeper into this quagmire of quantity and find out who first coined this bemusing phrase. I am going to respectfully suggest that perhaps the phrase was started by some buxom, bootyfull woman, who feeling exhausted after trying to squeeze her ample assets into some miniscule little G by Guiliana dress, screamed out into the stratosphere “Hey G, real woman have curves!”. If we are totally honest what would the good Guiles know about curves, other than the curve of little Duke’s cheek.
Perhaps it was started by another handsomely hipped maiden who got frustrated with trying to squash herself into some Victoria Beckham denim and yelled out over the fitting rooms… “Posh, real women have curves don’t you know?”. Of course Posh doesn’t know and why should she, the only curves in her life are David bending it like Beckham.
Another scenario could be a luscious young lass breaking down in despair after trying on one of the homeless looks by the Olsen twigs. Her primeval howl carried throughout the universe as she anguished over her real woman curves. How could she have expected the teensy twosome to understand curves when the last time they experienced a curve was in their Full House ratings.
Then one could also imagine a shapely Sheila trying on a Nicole Richie ensemble from her House of Harlow collection and feeling as if she were in the House of Horrors. Her laments were heard down the decades as she bemoaned her curvy state. As for Madam Richie – she hasn’t had a curve since she lived The Simple Life with friend Paris.
So when all is said and done it is perhaps a little understandable that the echo of “real women have curves” reverberates across the earth. I imagine that if those without ample curvage were to head off and try on some items from the Queen Collection by Queen Latifah they might also be heard wailing out loud as they raged against their empty bra cups and their unBrazilian like butts.
Lets hope that the fabulously fuller of figure can find some skinny love for their less shapely sisters and we can all just Shania Twain it together to the bitter end…. “Man, I feel like a woman”.